Driving in South Africa has become a real life video game. Stop signs are optional, pedestrians pop out from between cars or off the median on busy streets without looking for oncoming traffic, and I have created a mental map to avoid the known potholes, no, tire-stealing-craters, that are encountered daily. I didn’t even grow up playing video games, so I think that puts me at a disadvantage.
The cars assigned for my video game experience are on the opposite spectrum of those suped up Mustangs and Corvettes up for grabs in the selection menus. Instead, the car I cruise in lacks the left front blinker, has a double cracked windshield, a half attached front bumper, and rumbles to a stop even after the key is completely removed from the ignition. In order for us to sing along with my favorite South African jams “Hello Kitty,” or “Selfie” (not! I’m starting a #saynotoselfies campaign), we’ve found that the car needs to be in motion. When we’re stopped at a robot (aka traffic light) these songs turn to static.
Let’s talk about public transportation now! Taxis here aren’t yellow and aren’t sedans. They’re massive fifteen-seater vans that usually have more than twenty passengers. Similar to taxis in the U.S., their drivers have very little regard for others on the road and will weave in front of you like you don’t exist or slam on the breaks in front of you to pick up a passenger on the side of the road. They also pump some serious bass and I’ve been told they have taxi competitions so find the taxi with the best and loudest sounds possible. I would like to buy the soundtrack of South African taxis and dance all day. I just learned yesterday on the news that within three years some company is hoping to provide free wifi on all of these taxis as well as at the taxi ranks (which is a central taxi hub in towns where you find taxis going to the place you want). For those of you who try to communicate with me via internet (everyone) you know how much internet is a struggle in this country, which is why my brain almost exploded when I heard “free wifi in taxis.” A taxi is the last place I’d want to take out a device capable of connecting to wifi. I say we try to get wifi at college campuses first (or even ethernet cable internet!!). Eish.
At almost every robot (remember, traffic light) you can purchase random goods from men standing in between lanes. They sell roses, car batteries, kites, car chargers, camouflage hats and backpacks (Dad, I think of you every time I see those), beaded art, inflatable Spiderman toys, gloves, bumper stickers, and my favorite, COTTON CANDY (they call it candy floss). I’d been wanting to buy some for quite awhile, but it’s hard to coordinate sales at robots. Sometimes the man is at the perpendicular robot, sometimes the light turns green right when you roll down the window to ask for a price, but when the stars align, cotton candy can be purchased for five rand (fifty cents), while you wait for the light to turn green. It’s a beautiful and delicious thing. If only there was a man selling legit nachos at the robot. I’d cry tears of happiness and buy everything he had.
Things I’ve learned:
-I like pumping my own petrol.
-I enjoy driving manual cars, and will probably buy one as my next car.
-Potholes in Wisconsin are not something to complain about.
-Power locks are good for people like me with sweaty hands...sometimes I get locked in our car and need to be rescued by my roommates because I can’t unlock the door.
-It’s unlikely to get pulled over for speeding, but speed cameras are real.
-Don’t accept cars from a college you are working for.
-Petrol is more expensive here.
-Detours may take you off-roading through parks or onto sidewalks.
-Hills aren’t so scary in a manual car after all. (When I was first learning how to drive manual cars I had to park the car at a stop sign on a hill and have Cory take over driving because I saw myself rolling back into the Mercedes behind me.)
Love.Love.Love
Kelly
